I sat inside the lecture hall, in the front row, my whole being thrumming with excitement. We were listening to the welcome from the President and CEO of our organization. I was surrounded by sixty other people, men and women, who were ready to propel their careers through this selective leadership program just like me. I was twenty-nine years old.
Eleven years later, the first thing that comes to my memory from that welcome speech is this--”enjoy the journey”.
That is what he said.
At the time, I did not recognize the true wisdom in that phrase. I thought I did. We all thought we did. We repeated it all the time. If days were tough, or if they were awesome, we would say, “enjoy the journey”. If hashtags were a thing back then, we'd have plastered #enjoythejourney to every online post, message, text, email!
I can't help but wonder, now, how he came to feel that phrase was so important to impart on the young minds of people who were working hard to achieve their respective career goals. I wonder, if when he was sitting in those seats, heart pounding with excitement at the possibilities and opportunities ahead, if someone told him the same thing. Or, if by personal experience, he realized a bit too late just how important it was to, “enjoy the journey”.
It's been eleven years, and a lifetime of changes for me. Much of the six months I spent in that program are a bit fuzzy, but those words are still crisp and clear in my mind. We spend so much time working towards where we want to be that we forget to take a moment and revel in where we are.
Let's be honest though, it's not always a place to revel in, right? I mean, sometimes the day has been a bust, nothing accomplished, plenty gone awry and we are ready to punch that time clock and call it a day. More than ready for the next day to come and bring a fresh start.
But, when we add all those days up—all those days we fast forwarded through while looking ahead to something better, there is so much we miss.
And, here's the thing, “something better” is not permanent, it's fleeting. Just like every moment that led up to it and every moment that will come after it. And that is why he said to us, “enjoy the journey”. If we don't, some day we will get to that coveted goal and look back in disappointment. Disappointment in the time we ignored while getting there.
I completely appreciated his words back then, when I was young and green, wet behind the ears. But, I didn't realize how much keeping that thought in my forefront would actually impact my life—my experiences, my choices, my memories.
Life with our first daughter was short. Four years and four months. But, I look back now and I cannot think of a day that we did not “enjoy the journey”. Of course there were days, but I have way more memories of us embracing the moments along the way. Spending a football Sunday watching my husband reclined in a hospital chair with our daughter. She, swathed in monitor wires, IV paraphernalia and hospital gown; he, missing a beer, but hands full of the most precious gift in life--our daughter. They sat there, in an unlikely place, enjoying the game together—enjoying the journey. We wanted to be home, that was the goal. But, we were going to live in the moments along the way to the best of our ability.
Most days we did. And, I am freaking grateful for that. She isn't here anymore, but I have so many joyful memories.
I am going to be honest, there were a few years, after my first daughter passed away and before our second daughter came along, that I did not enjoy the journey. Time that I did not revel in. Time that, though I knew I shouldn't have, I wished away for something better—5 o'clock, Friday, Vacation.
I had experienced trauma, and the journey was about survival then. Not living life to the fullest. My second daughter brought light back to my life, she helped me to get back to the business of enjoying the journey.
Without her, I think I would have eventually circled back to the idea, because it's so important. But, I am grateful that she helped kick it back in gear. As I sit here now, I can't fully concentrate on writing this, I'm taking breaks to enjoy watching her ride her little rocking horse and giggle—we are both enjoying the journey.